24 hour smokeless

bjf pbe: 080102 - you should see the image with the pear






it's not a gawl damn resolution. in the history of new year's resolutions... have you heard of one person, ever, who made it through, to the end of the year? can you even name your last 5 resolutions? have you ever even made a resolution? resolutions were made to be broken, so fuck resolutions.

quitting smoking is not a resolution.

it's a fucking test of will that you will never understand (unless you have smoked for 10 years and are trying to quit cold turkey). non-smokers think it's so easy to just stop... here's a test. try giving up meat for a month. personally, i think giving up meat is easier than not smoking... but it's about the closest thing you can compare it to.

i've hit the 24 hour mark, and it's looking okay for now. at around 18 hours in, i was in severe withdrawal mode. i was phasing through some shakiness, mild irritability, and a little lightheadedness. gum. gum saved me. thank god i'm going to sleep now. i really need a fucking drag.

just one more drag. just one more hit. i still have a lighter with more than half of the fluid in it. i still know some zippo tricks. i still want to flip the "A"s for the girl i have a crush on. i want to do the waterfall trick with a pack of cigs. i want to sit at a diner and write in my journal and chain smoke with a cup of coffee and a fellow smoker. i wanna smoke in the cold, in the rain, in the car on the way to work.

argh. one day down.