...fine line between insanity and genius

where have i been? eh?

she's in my head. the problem is, i know i'll never get her. and maybe that's really just my deep rooted low self esteem talking, but i'm not so sure anymore. i've been fucking around too long and now i've slacked myself out of contention. someone else gets to hold her hand. someone else gets to write her lovely letters. watch tv and just couch all day. i'm burned out and wasted. just another genius with nothing to show for it. so much to give, but no one to share with. shite.

where have i been? i've been cowering in cold air-conditioned rooms, thinking of this girl and singing dashboard lyrics like i wrote them. she's a fire and she's got to me. and now i'm doing all that i can to keep her from sinking deeper into my mind. "i think she's getting over me, but i just don't know if i want her to."

scooby

first day of summer school.

lakers, rush, mim, races, nerd, thai village

thursday i ate at koyoto japanese restaurant. it was good but expensive... and the fucking fire alarm kept going off. fuck that.

scoobs.

tuesday we saw beth orton @ the metro. great show. today the lakers beat the nets. surprise, surprise. earlier, we dropped lola tentay off at the airport after eating lunch at tita sofie's. woo hoo. exciting days...

saturday i went to on the border to see kenny. we went to st. charles to some bar for some drinks. jay and i went to the dance club next door. then we all went to cadillac ranch for some pool and cowboy hats and i got home at like 4:00am. sunday all i did was watch the lakers game. monday all i did was watch ai , k-pax , on the line , and serendipity while doing laundry, cutting my hair, and cleaning my room. it's hard, was i a slacker or was i busy?

yesterday we had a memorial mass for my mom at my house. a priest came over and we prayed in the living room. then we had a great meal and watched the lakers vs. kings. chuck and i went to the city to hang with kenny and jason for a little bit. we ate at china town and then i got home at like 5am. fun. (sarcastic)

sunday i didn't do shit. i sat around and watched rollerball and sorority boys on vcd with the guests. monday we went to mass at the cemetery for memorial day. we then had a huge brunch at chuck's house. then we went to the city so that chuck could let cammy move some shit into the apartment. we ate sushi at pacific cafe, watched a little basketball, then went to black rock to watch cammy's friend, liam play some acoustic guitar. tuesday met up with jim and roy to discuss mim and its current status. phuc was there for a moment, but she went to work out and we went to eat sushi on algonquin. we spent most of the time talking about the clones and all that jazz and while i felt like a dork at times, it was a great conversation. wednesday jim and roy finally meet cammy. we exchange pleasantries and then leave to go shoot some outdoor setup shots for girl/boy . we end up at navy pier and we shoot some skyline shots. as it turns out, it gets pretty dark pretty fast. so we eat g...

what a fucking night. sox game so we started by taking the el to the sox game. it was dan, dave, chuck, and me. we got there at the top of the 4th, with the sox up 5 to 1, not that i give a shit about the sox or baseball for that matter. we met up with the crew, which was a good 25 or so guys. tauber's dad was there and he was hilarious. there was a fight in the stands and we all cheered. there were also many hotties walking around, prompting us to immediately decide to come to another sox game soon. yay. griffin's we took a very interesting el ride to get to the bar. dan and i were being very obnoxious. it was great. legerro got off the train a couple of stops early so that he could piss. haha! jon got us open bar from 10p-1am. we got hammered pretty fast. then the first stipper came and she was pretty good. she was actually serving drinks for everyone completely naked. she gave a couple of lap dances. she was great. then dallas showed up and she rocked the house. she was gor...

so last night all you need to know is that we hit club o and skybox . o has much talent, especially for the half puerto-rican half japanese/hawaiian princess known as veronica. skybox sucks, but they did have free pizza. so i didn't get in until 4:00am this morning and i slept until about 1pm. fuck. my head hurts... and now, i'm going back to chicago to celebrate rob lightfoot's bachelor party. we've got a sox game, a bar, and some strippers. it can't get much better than that. god help us.

the day has started out slowly, but danny belmont just called me and it looks like we're hitting is tonight... uh oh. so what did i do? slept in until about 11am. had a dl smoke. checked email. ate leftover breakfast. watched crazy/beautiful . nice little ditty. and now i'm blogging and it's 2pm. fuck. i'm gonna get dressed and take my granny to the supermarket.

this afternoon i went to lunch with stephanie. we ate at some strange pancake house on 25. it was mighty good. today is a boring day... a tragedy for blogging.

here we go, catching up again. monday is there really much to say? oh. i took the guests to woodfield to buy some shiz. i spent some money at the gap clearance rack. and i bought some wrist wear from some cutie punks at hot topic. then we went over to the loews to watch attack of the clones , a horrible title for a pretty good film. yoda is hilarious and the other fight scenes were intense... the storyline needs some work, but other than that, it was enjoyable. later in the evening, i went to gameworks to celebrate eric's 21st birthday and graduation. a whole slew of kids where there. the best part was watching derek play the drums and angelo playing starwars. good times. tuesday didn't do crap. everyone was pretty lazy. i went to lunch with asian tommy. we ate sushi all the way in st. charles. wtf? anyways, it was good and cheap, so i'm not gonna complain. i still spent like $30. but whatever. then i went home and took a nap. connie called me from schoo...

friday so to end friday night's affairs, i met up with chuck at dooley's, where kelly and rob were meeting some friends. we played a little ntn, and talked about the bachelor party and other nonsense. kelly and chuck were hungry, so we ate over at steak and shake on barrington. i wasn't hungry, but i ended up eating a shitload anyways. fuck. kelly and rob didn't believe us when we said that it was cash only. they apologized many times while chuck and i paid the bill... which was our pleasure. saturday last minute decision to attend the q101 jamboree, due to the free tickets aquired by chris through his work. my favorite band was dashboard confessional, but i enjoyed hoobastank, tenacious d, the strokes, and quarashi was ok. thursday was okay too, and i saw a little bit of unwritten law, but the cold day kept me from fully appreciating all the bands. we even stopped in the sonic boom tent to hear terri bristol and other djs spin. weee! later on, we met jim for ...

fuck. so i didn't get much accomplished on that list from yesterday. i did the garbage and i cleaned the kitchen , but that's about it. oh shit, i went to gameworks . you know that you're really bad when social activity is on your "to do" list, just so you can feel like you got some shit done. fuck again. so today i didn't cross anything off either. i spent some time on the web. watched some food tv. ate a late lunch and dinner at my granny's place. woo hoo! i wrote an email to the ecc kids, because i miss them so much. fuck, i can't stand this down time... i need a job. i think i'm going to tgi friday's to play some ntn.

slow start so today i slept in til about 11:30am. i guess it is nice not having class. for breakfast i had a camel special light and some orange juice. thing is, i really have to get some shit done today and here's the agenda... - apply for scholarships - clean kitchen & wash dishes - do 2 loads of laundry - pay bills - do the garbage and recycleables - hang out at lava lounge or gameworks what a rough life i live. heh. i really miss my ecc buddies. sigh.